Friday, 18 September 2009

1st evidential requirement...

. Here's the full transcript of our chat/interview thing.

This is an audio transcript. This is an audio transcript of a classy and cliqued up interview regarding the new Scissor Sisters album, due in March 2010. This is the first interview Scissor Sisters have given in over a year so it will be sought-after by fans and public alike.

Tuesday, 12 May 2009

Revision Times

Lets all summon together, lets all have one mass orgy of semantic perjuration and the subjunctive tense in French. It is rather boring to be honest, one month of your life that can ultimately decide your future. Shit or bust?
Well I dunno really. I see A-levels as just your way to get to Uni. Then what you do at Uni is what REALLLLLLYYYY matters ;)

Don't forget I shall be on Source Radio from October! (Y)

Mwah.X

Thursday, 26 February 2009

LESBIANS!

WE HAVE FULL ON LEZZAS IN SKINS!

Yes I'm still obsessed by that bloody programme!

But oh my god, isn't Naomi just amazing? I mean really, just bley blonde and sooooooo gay its unbelievable. Her mom knocks one off over her politics teacher, Cookiemonster just fails and they get down and dirty in the grass...


Katie:" I'm Namoi, Get to Know Me"
Naomi: "That Is Quite Catchy"
Katie: "Yeah, So Is AIDS"


Nice thoughts =)

So, tonight on Cookwatch...COOK FAILS WITH A LEZ!?!

Why? Basically beacuse of this? "You wouldn't make me fee alright if you stapled your tongue to my clit and stood on a cement mixer"

Well that somes her feelings up for blokes then I guess? Congratulations Naomi, I have just officialy outed you.


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(8) If This Is Love...

Pandora Watch:N/A. Why? SHE WASN'T IN THE EPISODE!

Au Revoir. X

But what about Bill?

Don't you just feel sorry for him?
I really honestly do! Its really not fair!!
So, Bill and Gigi go out on a lovely date, he is exactly Gigi's cup of char because he puts the sugar in it. He says goodnight, and leaves.
Cut to 2 minute later...knock on the door...Its none other than Alex!

Oh dear...

Sorry, but I have jsut ruined the plot for you if you haven't seen He's Just Not That Into You.

It is a very, very, very good film. It makes you think. Imagine the Shawshank Redemption meets Sex In The City in a lovey dovey kind of way.
It makes you think...It makes you want.

Anyways......


Sorry for the delays in postage of the bloggage ladies and gentlemenz.
I have been a busy boy lately, article writing, essays etc delaying the process of the blogz man.

So, what do I plan to do about it?
Well, as Thursday-ly you will get your now-resident Skins blog of course. AND as a bonus for you....

Jordo's New Music Tips for 2009 ;)

See ya later, smellygator. X

Friday, 20 February 2009

Major omg! Effy and Cook again! I mean really, is Freddie going to be the charity case of this years helping? I hope not cos it just aint fair, but it is lookin that way aint it? A little dicky bird has told me that Freddie and Effy aint over just yet, you heard it here first!
I just cant believe Cook has gone and done that! Its disgusting!

I must admit Cook has a very nasty habit of theivin my sayings. 'Get To Fuck?' I hear you cry? Cook...c'est moi, d'accord?

And...why didn't Freddie's dad see that his daughter is a bitch? I mean, he took the shed away FFS! NOT GOOD! I HATE HIM! I HATE COOK! AARRRRRGGGGGHHHHH!

Anyways, don't you just feel that JJ is the middle of a love triangle between him and the boys? I really do feel sorry for him because he is just like mentally fucktarded to a point where the slightest misdemeanor he encountered he shakes like a shittin dog...awwwwww! I just wanna give him a big hug =)

And bless her...Panda...she ain't half a dumb shit! "Was it Voldemort again?" "No Panda, wrong book!"

Awwwshh she is pretty thick. Bless her little metal braces.

Anyways, a little rant, on the bus today comin back from town, an old lady and an Indian girl had their purses and phones respectively taking my some Polish scum that decided to hit a lady. Now, im not being racist, but they are scum and shouldn't be here in England so FUCK OFF.

Quote:"Of course there is wankin in Hamlet, they call it soliloquizing." ITS Soooooooooo true.

Soggy Biscuit. X

Wednesday, 18 February 2009

The Brits

Alan Carr looks like a perverted Geography teacher though in that turtle neck!

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Well lets be honest, not as good as previous years and no real surprises, except who the fuck are Elbow?
I mean really, who are they?
Not heard of them. I just reckon that you have to have a really low self demeanor to nake your band after a joint in your body.
One think that lacked this year was classic moments...remember Robbie offering Liam out for a fight? Alan Carr getting off with every member of Take That?
Maybe one moment was the fact that Take That where FUCKIN MIMING ON A UFO! What is that all about?
They really have dropped my estimation of them...GUTTING for them.
One thing I must say I enjoyed was the colloboration between the Ting Tings and Estelle. Same key, same wavelength. Sounded pretty good aswell. Kudos to K.O.L also, fully deserving their awards.

Time for a little rant now. Those inbreds from the Westboro Baptist Church who infamously display those 'God Hates Fags' are apparantly coming to the UK to picket a 6th form colleges production of The Laramie Project. Basically for those of you who are unaware of what this is, a play that depicts the last few days of tragic Matthew Shepard's life, who was tragically murdered by 2 men just because he was gay.

Well...what do I have to say?
They are scum. They are just what is wrong with this earth today.

Rant over.X

Thursday, 12 February 2009

Finally!

We have lesbos in Skins! AHHHHHHHHHH Only 3 years in waiting!
Good times =) Not that I would like it anyway, I know people who would, like the person who watched it with me ;)

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OMG my love for Pandora is just getting more and more unconditional...
Subtle explanations of cheating..."Effy's mom did monkey and her dad gone ape". How lovely is she? But really, those visions, not really please Panda...

You just gotta love how she calls it surf and turf...she makes it sound edible...YUM =P

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Her party didn't go well at all bless her. DMT in the brownies. Katie's reserves from Brizzle Rovers. Oh dear. So Cook and Effy get it on in a wardrobe and end up in next doors bedroom and uncover Angela's saucy secrets, haha, that sexy removal of the leopard print shoes!
Dya think Effy has realised Freddie is the one?
I reckon

Meanwhile back out of Skinsland, CJ.! returned to the scenes of his early morning ventures over Wednesburyghetto, but he didn't wake me up today unfortunately, I have uncovered the fact that they have their ways...very uncontrolable I say. FILTHY BASTARDS.

Good times man =)

Pandora's quotes of the week: "You can't half leg it Eff, and I gotta cross country badge". Good times in the Brownies! "I cant tell her, she will go flip do rar rar!"

Next stop...Valentine DAY!

Over in Dover. X

Thursday, 5 February 2009

I Have A Theory...

That Alcohol Facilitates The Chatting Of Shit

Thursday

Well ain't tonight Skins just bleyy amaziiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiinnnnnnn?

I adore Thomas, and him and Pandora are just sooooo adorable =)

The fucked up lovers that only Shakespeare could create! Well, Skins has. Duuuurrrrrr. Stupid me.


So I'm gonna use my Thursday blog to continue my undying love for one Pandora Moon. She is just fantastic, what a lovely, adroable and dopey bitch she is, eh? I mean, who would stand there infront of her boyfriends mom stark naked and say, "Look at them! Aint they just fantastic" Of course Pandora they are, referring to her need for surf and turf.

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Its like being fisted by Joe Calzaghe, and Joe's still got his gloves on. Lesson learned Mr White. Don't have a chilli eating contest with an African who grows them. You will ultimately lose. Dick'ed.

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As you can see from the post mortem above, just because Joe likes it doesn't mean anyone else would like that big fuck off fist inside. Ouchhhhhh.

Ain't half The Inbetweeners hilarious?! What stupid twat tells 7-year-old kid about terrorists using dirty bombs in London when his parents are there!

Oh well....

Yet another snow day! Just need another one now so I don't have to get up SO early tomorrow at 12 =(


Can't wait for tomorrow tho...a week is by far, too fuckin long!

Now lets get sconed! X

Gotta love skins....

Hello my name is THOMAS :D

Pandora: Thats a whole load of doughnuts

Effy's mom is fucking David Baddiel

After we are well and truly sconed!

What in the bollocking buggery name is it?

Guess what....WE BEEN SNOGGING *whispers* i've gotta shit load of weed!

Its like being fisted by Joe Calzaghe, and Joe's still got his gloves on!

Look at them! Aint they just amazing! (referring to her first surfial and turfial experience)

Wednesday, 4 February 2009

SNOW!

There was a fuckin huge load man! Like a bloke who has gone a week without ejaculation! LOADS!

OMG!

I cannae believe it! 2 days snowed in from school, maybe 2 more on the way =)
Benji's Friday, Work Saturday, Rehearsal Sunday.


Rest of my week planned, maybe C.J stopping on Thursday...hope so, he needs to fix my bley laptop.

I've started this regime, to lose my gut man. Simply gotta go. Its too harsh being called Moyles by FatDan so it simply has gotta go. Oh, i've stopped drinking aswell. I'm just good, but lager is just sooooooo tantalising! AAAAAAHHHHHHHH

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Good Times tho today with Tammie, proper fo shits and gigglesJordo: How come you split up?Tammie: We are back together nowJordo: *sarcastically* I wonder why *points out to a huge willy*Tammie: *points out an even bigger willy*Jordo: (8) his cock is so big, so strong and so mighty *starts to thrust* there is nothing that he cannot do!

Lyric of the day: (8) And take it back to the start of this (though I'm) A MILLION MILES FROM HOME


L'prophets Babayyyyyyyyyy

Let Ta Snow Flow. X

Tuesday, 3 February 2009

Tuesday Night

Means one thing

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MAKE POVERTY HISTORY, CHEAPER DRUGS NOW!

Sunday, 1 February 2009

A Rant...

A little debate about referees. Why the fuck is Rob Styles still a referee? How many more times will he get away with murder on a football pitch? Costing teams that play against Manchester United with penalties, red cards or dubious decisions.
Its like the Albion fans were singing, "Rafa's got it right". Rafa did get it right. Sir Alex can eff and blind over Keith Hackett and criticise the referees openly and when he likes. What gets done? Fuck all. Anyone else breathes a word, they get fined, suspended whatever.
Its all fucking bollocks.

Transfer deadline day is drawing ever closer.
Is Robbie Keane going to go back to Spurs? Arshavin to Arsenal? Given to City?

More importantly, are Albion gonna sign anyone? Well, you all know what the Baggies are like on deadline day, leave it till 11.57pm before they sign anybody. There is talk of Mulumbu, Obodo and Mensenguez. Whether it happens or not we will see soon enough.

Straight rant much today or what man?

WHARF Tomorrow!

Out. X

Thursday, 29 January 2009

Amazing

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Ain't she just?

Proper tunage like. Get the album, its rather lush. Rather impressed I must admit. Girl done good. You would expect with all that perspex attached to her head.

As Harris and I invented, CCCCCCCCUMONMYFACE =P

Rave and Wave. X

Tuesday, 27 January 2009

MANCHESTER

What a weekend?

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Loads of booze...loads of randomers...loads of good times =)

I tells ya, Canal Street is a weird, wonderful place; full of interesting places and people. Neon walls, domanitrix mothers and fucked up 70 year old trannies that look like they belong on the inside of a diggers bucket.
If you wanna shag...then go Canal Street! Loads of scene queens lurking around each corner, from Mantos to View, Thompsons to Pop...everything for someone...just like pick'n'mix!

Well it started out on the Friday night. Baa Bah. Neon Wall. Some random girls in a photo with Me and Ben, good times =) Got offered drugs by some dirty straight tramp, bad times =(
Onto View, sat down upstairs when we met Mom, Auntie and Skye. We were her adopted kids for the evening! OMG apparantly I'm Will Young and Ben is Jarvis Cocker...I'm sorry but since when do we look like failed musicians?! I swear it was like being a part of MI5 being around her. Every minute, she would say "Wheres my daughter?" "Go and get her!" I'm like whoah love, we've just met you. But she was sweet. Get us sweet hehe. 3 WAY KISSING....Whats all that about?! Really? She could really bust a move though, Gamboling onto the dancefloor...I mean whats all that about?

Oh, summat else aswell...some gay and a dyke had the cheek to have the same shirt on as me! Was fun tho!

Onto Chruchills, straight away some random fat bloke looked like an overweight George Sampson drenched in sweat on the stage. It was rather amusing! The DJ in there was a legend. "Come on lesbians, shake your minges!" Then, Court of King Caratacus...."Ohhhh the powder on the noses of the faces on the ladies in hareem..."

LEGEND =)


Saturday:
Long day....woke up...met Kirsty, went Arndales...didn't buy anything apart from a McDonalds
Saturday night, POP!
HAHA
Kirsty-Lee and I officialy christened ourselves as brother and sister of the distinguished Fierce!

Sunday: I GOT BUMMED BY A WOMAN:

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It was an amazing weekend...and all I have to say is one big thank you =)

You know who you are!

Drink and Blink. X

Thursday, 22 January 2009

I'm/It'sBack!!!

IM BACK!!

Tomorrow...I return....to my humble abode....
But this time....it will be even better =)
To the land of this...

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Time to go and pay a visit to a certain Mr Stuart Alan Jones, no?

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ITS BACK!

Yes =] Yes =] Yes =]


SKINSSKINS
SKINSSKINS



Its back =)

And yeah, okay, Tony and his crew of junkies have gone. Enroll the newbies:
Cook, JJ, Freddie, Katy, Emily, Effy, Pandora, Naomi.
So...whos my fave? Naomi, Cook or Freddie.
Simple. Why? Naomi is the female Chris. Cook just dont give a fuck. Freddie aint gotta clue if he is coming or going. Bless. It's gonna be good people...


Pandora: Can I Be In This Class
Kieran: How many A-levels you doing?
Pandora: 1 Please. Philosophy.
Kieran: Mayaswell. Then you can tell me how life works!

Cut to Cook and Effy bonking, what tune has to be playing in the background? Magick - Klaxons.

Fuckin Legend.

Can just see it now. Cook, Effy and Freddie love traingle. But really, where are the queers? Kumar? Who? Really?

Bring back Maxxie.

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Dumb fuck. Love it.

Love and Dove from Above. X



Wednesday, 21 January 2009

Wednesday
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So today...basically cut to the good shit! There is a pillhead in amongst us, someone who is 'up the duff cos they got stomach pains' and also prom sorted!
Lord.
I bet you're thinking get out more.
I'm thinking be quiet.
It's the good stuff!

I mean really, why at 18 would you go on pills in an establishment that is domesticated by the council-house lot with rap crap tunage on?! WTF Really?!
Should've taken them in an alleyway, more fitting huh?

I've had all the worries of Uni today. All of the ovulating over loans, debt, overdrafts, accomodation...even a debate between Ben and my mom was rather amusing to be in the middle of. But seriously, how can the government expect parents to pay for their offsprings partying and lecture-wagging for 3 years? Credit crunch my bollocks. Good Times. So yeah, still, gotta get fucked man.

What did you make of the Mini-Me and baby love thang gwanin on Celeb BB?! It was like reality! Oh my days! It was brilliant! No doubt Channel 4 will have Ofcom telling them off again like before, but hey, who cares? He is a legend!

And...by the way, it's back tomorrow...

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Yes...let the fun begin Mwahahahahahahaaaaaaaaaaa

Pout and Out. X

Tuesday, 20 January 2009

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Tuesday

Maybe today should be changed to Obamaday?
or Ben passed his test day?
or Jordo actually did some coursework day?

So the Obama became President today. I wonder how long it will take for him mess the world up like every other President has in some, twisted and perculiar way. So is today the way forward? Well it certainly made history. In a BIG way. The first African-American in the White House (How ironic that it was built my slaves?). Sorry. Going down the wrong road there. Fair play to him. Good luck to him.



Congrats to Ben! You better come pick me up!